Meaning

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away”

- David Viscott

We all want meaning. The meaning of all of it. The answer to all the why questions. From existential crises to religious promises. So many institutions and leaders are willing to help you find the one true path.

However, meaning might be different for different people. So, your one true path comes packaged and tailor-made for you. The meaning of life, universe and everything is sold as a lifestyle only for 99.99$.

You know how people wake up with epiphanies. So many books and movies are written about adventures people go on and how that transformed their lives. From a book you read at a low point in your life to a journey you took by running away. It must mean something. We convince ourselves that it does mean something. Everything should mean something so we quest out for that something.

FUCK MEANING.

The explanation is as good as the puzzle and only half as good as the journey you take to get there. The reason why we put so much emphasis on meaning is because we are programmed to things making sense. The most fundamental laws of Physics (that half of the population wouldn’t even care to understand) have taught us to try and make sense of things. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Millions of years spent learning problem solving, of course that’s what we do. Our stories have to make sense. Policies and laws need make sense.

We try to make sense out of so much because so many important things just don’t make sense.

Logic is beautiful, trust me: I am a programmer so I should know. Problems are brilliant to solve and happiness comes from solving them (paraphrasing Mark Manson from Everything is fucked). Childlike glee flows through your veins when you’ve cracked the nut. On top of that: problems are interesting, solving them is fun but solutions are, in most cases, boring.

I am not advocating that we stop looking for explanations. I am afraid people would start believing there’s leprecaun at the end of rainbow and not the fact that it is a mighty union of water, light and human eye. Science teaches us that meaning and explanation is wonderful. It is beautiful to know and amazing to experience the world with that knowledge. That meaning is a worthwhile goal. However, physics is the science that tries to explaining the physical world. People are trying to explain things they experience. So, first comes experience and then, comes meaning. If one have never seen a rainbow, can one truly comprehend the worth of its explanation?

First time I ever remember seeing a rainbow, and I’ll be darned: it is beautiful beyond words

So, the one thing I’ve learnt by running away from life to find its meaning is that I am starting backwards. I need to learn how to experience it first. The hurry to find meaning leaves you blindsided to the experiences of life. You don’t owe your past self or your future self anything, but you do owe your present self all the experience it can have.

“Success might be however you define it but if you define it wrong you are never gonna find it.”