Michael & Alyssa
Portland was not a place I ever wanted to visit in my life and yet, I called it home for 103 days. The reason it became my home was the neighbourhood of Alberta, the coffee at Just Bob’s and Michael, my roommate. People like to form tribes and divide so as to form communities and feel welcome. As a single brown woman from Hong Kong, Portland is the last place you would find a traveller like me. Yet, I was there.
Michael laid out his life and home to me, in a way that I couldn’t ever fully describe in words. He made his home a safe space. He shared with me his friends who welcomed me with open arms and without doubt. Everything I was, was forgotten into moments of joy. I have never felt more part of a community with absolute strangers. They completely made my Christmas and NYE. I don’t think I would have it any other way.
There’s a concept in vinyasa about using your breath; to move, to consciously be in control of my body. Be in control of your present. Michael and his partner, Alyssa made me live in the moment. Whatever little time I spent with them, whether it was whinging about work or when they talked about yoga or friends or swapping life stories. Listening to them and talking to them: they made me conscious of being content. Like, I wanted no more. I know of pigeon and cat stories, of lost phones on mountains, of growing up without knowing your birthday and of experiences beyond my personal lifetime. Whether it is endless couch conversation with red wine or beer drinking, they gave me a chance to grow at my own pace. For that and for so much else, I thank them.
Michael and Alyssa are wonderful people. If I say they are kind and generous and empathetic: those words would not be enough to describe them. They reminded me constantly of how good people can be but not in a way that I would be envious. They made me want to be better. Their friends describe them as energetic and outgoing, and they are but they are also the realest of people you can meet. There is honesty in their actions and integrity in their thoughts. They are true explorers at heart. Of outdoors and human experience.
Michael taught me JOMO: the joy of missing out in the first conversation I had with him. He told me how in his life he used to be more outgoing. Someone who would never miss anyone’s birthday and yet, he changed. He had changed because he realised it is good to say no. Good to remove from your life all you don’t need. He told me that he would ground his coffee in the morning and then, make it with his Chemex because he wanted no rush mornings. He lives life. He loves life and it’s a breath of fresh air to meet someone who can love life this much.
He says that he is a forever optimist and I’ve seen that. Even in tough times, he manages to be kind and generous to others. In the 3+ months that I’ve been his roommate; I’ve never seen him angry. I’ve seen him sad and happy and in love and in awe of nature. He talks about mountains and snow as if those things are alive (and they are when you talk to him). He shared with me videos after every ski trip, including me into joys he felt. Untouchable joys and yet filled with enthusiasm that I could almost feel. There is beauty in such love for life.
There is beauty in mere passion for life. We all are mere shadows of ourselves if we don’t delve into it. My greatest regret is, that I forget on some days that that is what being alive really is.
Alyssa is the most surprising person one can meet. She’s perfect; I don’t mean she doesn’t have flaws: she probably does but none I ever saw or felt. She is curious and welcoming and warm. In conversations, she stands her ground. She knows herself in ways that only years of soul-searching could achieve. She is like a psychologist and talking to her is like therapy but better. She’s a great listener and she would let me go on talking about this and that.
When she shares parts of herself, you can see that there is so much to know. There’s an endless pool of knowledge you can grasp from her but it is beyond you. She doesn’t ever give up. She isn’t the kind of person. I think of Alyssa and I think of courage. Over this skiing season, she managed to get great at skiing (at maybe the cost of her toenail). She would be able to do anything she wanted, but she’s humble about it. She’s thoughtful to others and she appreciates the fact that it is hard to be a person.
Not to overlook, she's drop-dead gorgeous.
The thing about Portland is, you can be who you are without hesitation and without doubt. It welcomes even those who are undecided and have halted decision making. It rejects no one. Michael (like Portland) always welcomed me to all hangouts but didn’t seem to mind when I politely and sometimes unceremoniously cancelled. He understood when I told him I was leaving before anticipated. He would understand because he understood that people are complex. It’s hard to find people like that.
For the longest time I thought that Portland didn’t have my kind of people, but as I got to know Michael and Alyssa I found out that’s all that Portland has in common with me. It has my kind of people, and some day I hope if stars align I’d make a home in a place just like Portland.
P.S. 103 days of living in that apartment and we didn’t take a photo that I can include but they are ingrained in my memory, like firewhiskey on throat: not easily forgotten :)