Purpose
It is 2023 and being older does seem to make you wiser. My name is Apoorva Jyoti and I am found. In the 2019, I went on an epic adventure. I lived better than my wildest dreams and in realest fantasies. There were failed experiments in personal growth, some really bad hangovers and some unexpected surreal experiences. Living through that made me feel that it was the only kind of adventure. Returning back home felt like a failure in many ways - it was not direct rejection but a rejection from the universe. As though COVID had existed for my plans to fall through.
As it happens, due to being stuck in Hong Kong I met my partner and two and half years later got married. This blog is a way to be able to look back and be able to do all I can with all that I’ve got. However, it is also a record of my life.
I just quit my job. I don’t know what comes next. I hope it’s something great but, I do hope more than anything it is new.
[ME FROM Aug, 2019]
Goals or lack thereof
If I had goals, I’d not be kinda sorta taking a sabbatical to find some meaning.
I’m in my late 20s and I am tired of living in my comfort zone. I live in Hong Kong which is probably the least adventurous city because everyone is OK with everything (notwithstanding the current political unrest). I’ve read many books that make me jealous of characters but being a coward like Peter Pettigrew myself, I’ve run from all challenge. Then, why now?
01.
I live in a city AND I AM LOST
City life is brilliant but you can go from being a workaholic to an alcoholic every week. I’d like to know: is this the only way to live?
02.
Why this?
I am an engineer by degree and developer by vocation. My interest set however, is far outside my work. Don’t get me wrong: I love my job but I feel like a wasted person.
03.
loneliness
I am surrounded by people who have families, lovers, friends, one-night stands and all I have is my work. I spend days working myself to sleep and it has gotten tiring.
04.
Lastly, If not now
Then, when? Andy Grammar has a song called: 85. “I don’t want to be 85 singing
Oh no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money”
[Me: Now]
Goals: Make yourself. Failure is your friend.
4 words, 6 syllables.
What you resist, persists.
“Wait to panic, this is temporary”
Apoorva Jyoti | terrible pun-finder | official quote-thief
Meaning & context
If you’ve stumbled across this website by some bizarre alignment of stars (which I don’t believe is possible), welcome?! Stay a while, grab a drink maybe!
As selfish as this may sound, this is not for anyone else. The whole purpose of recording my time exploring is for my future self to pinpoint my mistakes and hopefully make them all over again! I am a confused person with an elevated ego and have made it a constant habit of retroactively evaluating my own decision making process.
What I am, I do not know.
What I want to be, I cannot see.
This is the story I tell myself
In future, I ought to be - just like me.
There will also be a section that will keep research on random topics possibly. Finally, if you get bored of prose, I do write poetry:
Under the effects of an elixir so darn sweet
I stumbled to his arms with weaker knees
It is a night I try to forget but also remember
My memory can do very little and surrenders
Our eyes were locked, intertwined in an embrace
Unwilling to let go of each other’s undying gaze
Ready to Party?
Look for the oddities
